As the winter clouds slowly give way to springtime sun, the United States is waking up to a nightmarish political climate. The Republicans have taken over more state legislatures than at any time since the Great Depression, and well… It looks like that is where we are heading there again. Why? Because the GOP, rebranded by the Kochs’ Tea Party after the intense failures of the Bush Administration plummeted the country to new depths, has retaken control in a November 2010 election in which liberals stayed home.
The Tea Partiers have never been much for civil discussion – here are Tea Baggers waiting to get in at a Health Care Town Hall event in Missouri. Of course, these people were encouraged to behave abysmally by the Tea Party itself – and some were even paid to do it! (Learn how!)
Buoyed by a self-declared national mandate, the Tea Party is now beginning hard work on important new legislation across the country – all guaranteed to either send the U.S. backward to a preliterate tribal society or a post-industrial, pre-Rapture apocalyptic nightmare state. Let’s take a quick look at some of the bills making their way through some state legislatures around the country.
We have already reported on some of the interesting bills under consideration in Montana. These include important issues such as legalizing hunting with spears and guns with silencers. Tea Partiers like guns… a bit too much… so they have decided that the state government should allow guns in schools, in the state Capitol, and as if that was not enough safety, there is also a proposal to create armed militias in every town.
Tea Partiers do not like regulations very much because the Tea Party benefactors, the Koch Brothers, pollute a lot. So it should not be much of a surprise that there is an attempt to nullify federal laws, including federal environmental regulations. The state is also planning to eradicate incentives to promote the development of wind power and it would also like the government to demonstrate that it has obtained National Park land legally, lest glaciers be allowed a chance to be conserved.
Tea Baggers do not like women very much either. Women in South Dakota may soon be forced to listen to a Christian sermon about abortions prior to obtaining one – of course – it was not as if the decision was tragic enough in and of itself.
Another bill, an interesting and creative combination of Tea Party misogyny and love for guns would have legalized killing abortion doctors as well as defund Planned Parenthood. This law has been tabled… for now…
And then there is Texas. They do stupid in Texas BIG! Its Board of Education is a joke and it is difficult to understand how students that go through their schools will have the knowledge that they will need to thrive in competitive, technical fields such as biomedical engineering, much less pass a college entrance exam with the state’s reinforcement of creationism in the schools and rewriting of American history in the state educational standards. Oh, and despite the fact that Thomas Jefferson had written the Declaration of Independence and that as president, he doubled the size of the United States in the Louisiana purchase (including some territory in Texas itself) he is no longer recognized as a founding father because he also happened to be suspiciously liberal and agnostic.
Only weeks after the Gabriel Giffords shooting and with shootings on college campuses in the news annually, Texas has decided to allow concealed guns on college campuses within the state.
While we’re discussing guns, there are also bills that will enable guns on party boats and bills that nullify (there is that word again!) federal laws that apply to guns and ammo made in Texas. That should make it easier for the Branch Davidians to regroup in Waco without any pesky ATF interference.
But how can one be satisfied with guns and treating women like trash alone? There are plenty of other groups to discriminate against! That’s why Texas may make it illegal to be gay in the National Guard (Virginia is trying this one too). Sorry gays, no playtime with guns for you in this middle finger to that Kenyan guy. A bill by Leo Berman would make it illegal to run for president in Texas unless it was possible to see your original, legal birth certificate. But the question is would they believe it is real if the candidate has dark skin?
And there are Tea Partiers in Texas who believe that the immigration situation should be remedied. Why? Because the Arizona bill does not go far enough because it does not have the death penalty for illegal immigration.
In neighboring Oklahoma, where the public passed an amendment to the state constitution banning the adoption of shariah law, because that was apparently a problem with muslims comprising 0.16% of the state.
Of course, there are new gun proposals, too. Because people may soon be able to carry guns everywhere: College classes, grocery stores (watch out! that pineapple looks OVERRIPE!), and even bars! They deserve bonus points for combining guns and booze.
Don’t worry – illegal immigration proposals were scuttled when the Chamber of Commerce intervened! And women have already been forced to listen to ultrasounds and hear a discussion of a fetus before having an abortion – even if you were a rape or incest victim.
In New Hampshire, there is a new bill to make it very difficult for students to vote! A new law would allow students to vote in New Hampshire if their parents happened to have a previously established residence in the town where the student lived. Since students generally move away from home and live in the town where they go to school, that means they may be barred from voting at all if they go to school in New Hampshire. And if that were not enough, Election Day registration would also be banned for students that did not understand that their voting rights have been infringed. According to the Republican House Speaker, William O’Brien, well here is a clip from the Washington Post:
New Hampshire’s new Republican state House speaker is pretty clear about what he thinks of college kids and how they vote. They’re “foolish,” Speaker William O’Brien said in a recent speech to a tea party group.
“Voting as a liberal. That’s what kids do,” he added, his comments taped by a state Democratic Party staffer and posted on YouTube. Students lack “life experience,” and “they just vote their feelings.”
In Ohio, Republicans have turned on police and firefighters. This is all about union busting. (They have already gone for state employees including teachers).
In Tennessee, Tea Partiers are all about pooh-poohing slavery. Speaking of slavery, the Tea Party there is also gunning for teachers’ collective bargaining rights.
In Missouri, a new proposal would eliminate child labor laws for children under 14. Children looking to earn a buck could work up to 80 hours a week! Just think of all of the wonderful free-market capitalism that they could enjoy during their formative years without an education! The bill also specifically allows children under the age of 16 to work in the hotel industry, after hours. Yes, it specifically goes out of its way to mention that. Oh, and the law would bar the Missouri Division of Labor Standards from making sure that employers of children provide safe working conditions.
Missouri is also considering a compact with Arizona and Tennessee that would oppose the adoption of federal Health Care Reform, in another nullification move.
The same month in which a U.S. Congressional Representative was shot in the head just to the south, the state of Utah voted on a state firearm. They picked a Browning M1911 semiautomatic pistol. How tasteful!
And with guns comes hating women. Did you know that miscarriages are like natural abortions? That is why it is now possible that a woman who has a miscarriage will face murder charges.
Oh, and Utah was a lightweight – women who have a miscarriage in Georgia could get the death penalty.
The Georgia Tea Party would also like to enact a few other provisions, including: The “Energy Freedom of Choice Legislation”, which would prohibit cap-and-trade limits to greenhouse emissions; an Arizona-style anti-immigration law (papieren bitte!); tax cuts everywhere, including property taxes!
Arizona is the home of crazy. They have already sold several state buildings, including the state Capitol, to private firms so that the state can rent from them at higher cost in perpetuity!
It is possible to carry concealed weapons to bars now. But don’t think of buying beer, cigarettes of any “niceties of life” if you are welfare – you will lose your funding. Oh, and a children’s health insurance program has been repealed for 38,000 kids. This means that billions of dollars in Medicare money may be withheld by the federal government. In other words, Arizona is keeping the government out of Arizonan Medicare – we’ll see how that goes amongst the geriatric population there.
There is now also a law that requires abortion doctors to report the names of women who undergo abortions.
And there is the anti-immigration law that allows anyone caught while brown to be arrested if they are not carrying their documentation at all times.
In Minnesota, the new Tea Party legislature is not happy with the Democratic Governor’s plan to raise taxes on the wealthy.
Michele Bachmann and other Republican Congressional delegation members are planning to defund the EPA
In attacks on women, Republicans have decided to ban abortions after 20 weeks of pregnancy, regardless of wether the child will survive more than a few minutes anyway. The bill will be vetoed by the governor, but you can’t blame them for making a statement, can you?
Another Republican, Senator John Carlson of Bemidji, decided that he would introduce a bill that would repeal pay equity for women. Why is it that the Tea Party hates women so much? Here is what he said, from the Minnesota Independent:
“That bill’s been pulled and it won’t see the light of day,” Carlson said Saturday at an Education Minnesota event, the Bemidji Pioneer reports. “I would admit I didn’t do my homework very well.”
“So I author the bill, put it in the hopper, and the next thing I know, all hell breaks loose,” he said. “And I deserve it for being naïve. Quite honestly, I deserve that. I did it with good intentions.”
“Obviously, I’ve been married for 32 years, I have a daughter out in the workforce, and I have a granddaughter — I can’t believe anyone would think I would harm that relationship,” Carlson said.
I wonder just what those good intentions were that would have lowered wages for half of the human race for the simple fact they were not male.
Not to be outdone with misogyny, the Tea Baggers want to get the gays too! They plan to introduce an anti-gay marriage amendment.
With the 2012 elections coming up and the Republicans hoping that Obama will fail, they are planning a budget that is a poison pill for the current economic recovery.
Republicans also plan to send us back a century or two, by cutting scientific researh – especially climate change science and monitoring. The Corporation for Public Broadcasting and Planned Parenthood also take political hits from the government. Meanwhile, nearly a million jobs are on the line with draconian cuts aimed at breaking unions, eliminating programs for the poor. If that were not enough, the GOP plans dire cuts to education and infrastructure development.
The Republicans would also like to defund the EPA for their Koch brother masters. They have even replaced recyclable food containers in the Congressional dining room with non-recyclable styrofoam, provided by an affiliate of Koch Industries. Since they are also planning to slash funding to toxicology clinics, one blogger suggests that the GOP is simply trying to poison America. Considering their impact on the nation so far, it seems that it is safe to say “Mission Accomplished”.